1.  You wish your kids went to Jess. If you could rewind time, your kids would have gone on that waiting list when they born. Or even when you were pregnant. You still toy with the idea of putting them on the waiting list, until you check how many kids would be above them and feel defeated. But that’s only until you hit the traffic on the school run the next morning and start dreaming about the convenience all over again.

2.  You genuinely have nightmares about the Arabian Ranches roundabout at rush hour. Pretty much every night.

3.  If you had it your way, you’d never leave the Ranches. And when the weekend arrives, that is pretty much the plan.

4.  You wish Maison Mathis had a loyalty scheme. Sometimes when arranging to meet friends for breakfast or coffee, you consider meeting somewhere else. Then you laugh at your own stupidity and make a plan to meet there after all. And when the weather is cool and the play area is open, you could stay there all day. And sometimes you do.

5.  You have real neighbours. Before you moved to the Ranches, you may have nodded and smiled at your neighbours as you passed in the street. Now your neighbours are practically your family, with playdates, barbeques, and kid’s parties to attend on a daily basis. And who needs to pay for holiday camp when there are different playdates every morning when school breaks up?

6.  You have a love/hate relationship with the golf course. Green views! Evenings at the Golf Club! Quick trips to get your hair and nails done! It’s a brilliant place – until your husband nips out and doesn’t return for the entire afternoon after a ‘quick’ nine holes. Maybe you should move back to the Marina, after all.

7.  A trip to The Springs or The Lakes seems like a million miles away. How about we move that playdate to The Ranches instead?

8.  You don’t have to look at a clock at 9.00pm on a Friday night. You know that’s the time because it sounds like the night sky is exploding. Which it is, as Global Village is setting off fireworks again.

9.  You still feel sad that the Haagen Daaz shop shut down. You only managed to go a few times in the years you have lived in The Ranches, but still… It hurts.

10.  You wish you’d moved years ago. You were putting off the move to a villa, before you took the plunge and moved to The Ranches – and oh how you wish you’d done it sooner! It may pretty much be the desert, you may have to contend with traffic, and you may want to sabotage the golf course, but it was definitely the best Dubai decision you ever made.

Read more:

Which expat tribe are you?

The truths about being a British mum in Dubai

You know you’re a mum in Dubai marina

10 signs you’re a British mum in Jumeirah

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