All too often we experience the ramifications a divorce brings to a family; be it from getting a divorce ourselves or witnessing it as our friends or family go through this ordeal. We all know how hard it can be, especially when children are involved. British Mums members often turn to the group for support, advice or just letting off steam and essentially, being there for each other is what British Mums is all about.
Whilst some separations are amicable, others aren’t and here one of our members writes an honest letter to her husband.
There are so many things I’d like to say to you. I want to tell you that there was a time I loved you. A time before you chose to put your career and your family before me and our children. A time before you forgot about my needs.
Choosing to leave you was not an easy decision, nor the easiest option. I could have decided to stay, yes, like you asked me to. I could have lost myself even further in the role you created for me. The supportive wife, the devoted mother, the manager of our home, our finances, our responsibilities – our lives in general.
How comfortable and easy life has been for you! Never having to worry about having a warm dinner, a clean home, well-looked after children and enough money to build your career… even though I was making twice the contribution to our home and our lives. Even though my career, dreams and goals were long forgotten.
Dear husband, you made promises on our wedding day that you have long forgotten. Like you have forgotten who I am, the things that are important to me, and what I hope for. I gave myself to you with no holding back but all I have left is a hole in my heart.
I want to thank you for our beautiful children. Although I don’t see much of you in them, I am thankful you and I managed to create our miracles. Rest assured that I will continue to guide them, support them and love them, as much as I have always done in your absence.
I can freely admit that I am scared of this new life I am choosing. I am scared of being on my own and worried how I can ensure my children make it through this without permanent damage. But at least this time I am choosing to be a single mum! Not a married woman carrying all the responsibilities of a single mother – and more! – because her husband is always absent.
I am a strong woman, or have you forgotten? I have faced countless challenges, and not only have they not broken me, they have made me fierce! I may be scared but I know I will make it on my own, and on my own terms. I am strong!
Yes, dear husband, I have so much to say – but I won’t bother. It’s not like you are here now, and in your absence, I will gather my strength and start my journey back to me.
Written by a British mum who wishes to remain anonymous.
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