How do working British mums juggle being first and foremost a mother, as well as being an employee at the same time? British mum Fiona explains how she learnt the hard way and reveals her tips on how to find the childcare that’s right for your family.

My daughter Erin is 18 months old now and she’s extremely happy and content and it’s all working out pretty well. The balance is there and I have support in place now. But, I’m going to be very honest – it has taken me a fair while to find this balance and I have learnt so much throughout the process, that I wanted to share some of that with you.

It’s not easy being here alone with no family around us, and in most cases it’s true what they say; you really do rely on your circle of friends in Dubai and even your colleagues you work alongside too. I’m extremely lucky to have many friends around me sharing experiences and advice. However financially we had no option for me not to go back to work once I had my baby, and I know I would have had to make the same decision in the UK too and I’m not ashamed to say that working motivates me and makes me feel happy all the same.

However, it’s not to be under-estimated that’s it’s so very hard being away from your children whatever age they might be and of course I miss my Daughter each day I’m at work. I miss her so, so dearly but I take comfort in knowing that she’s happy and that’s the most important thing. Erin has many great people and influences around her and people who genuinely care for her and I feel very lucky that she has that.

I always said Nursery was the way forward for us and that I would want Erin close by to my workplace….but WOW, when looking for nurseries there were just so many to choose from – it was like opening the door to this new magical world with all these options; each and every one of them was offering something different to the other and every one of these came with a list of fees which I very rarely would get my head around with terms and camps etc. I felt it was like a cryptic message the way the nurseries listed the fees! (especially if you have never been a teacher before!) I remember saying to many of the nursery managers, I work in months not terms “so how much is it per month?” because that’s how we work isn’t it? We need to work out the monthly outgoings to ensure we can manage the finances as the majority of us get paid monthly.

For those of you looking at nursery options and childcare costs, here are my tips based on my personal experience:

1. Ask the nursery to provide the price per month (they may well display this in terms but usually there’s also a monthly option and if not, then ask if they will do this for you as I found most were flexible with this.)

2. Ask if the nursery is open all year round – If they say yes, then ask them when they are closed because I can guarantee this means they are open but this includes extra curricular “camps” in the holidays, which are charges extra to nursery fees. For example, even if the nursery is not associated with a school, they will class the half terms and holidays as “camp” with a daily rate or weekly rate so this needs to be included into your costs.

3. If camps are in place, ask if the nursery if they can give you an overall fee which includes the camps or a discount if you pay for the camps up front as the nurseries want the camps to be full so this benefits them. Ask if you can include the payment of these into the monthly fees.

4. Don’t rule out the outer areas which feed the more expensive areas – Jafaliya is perfect for me as its very close to my workplace and the prices are very affordable (even with a full time rate as opposed to the City nurseries). Think of it a bit like housing and watch out for areas with a lot of traffic at peak times as this can add to your journey significantly – and as a working parent, it’s much easier with really young babies and toddlers as they sleep a lot but you may need to reconsider the route you travel when they are toddler age as the drive home could mean a little unwanted nap not long before bedtime!

5. Find the nursery that works for you but is also in line with your budget. Don’t feel pressured into signing up for the one with all the glitz and glamour – there are so many affordable options for different budgets and everyone is looking for something different. Shop around!

6. For younger children they usually need to be 45 days old and onwards, so if you have a young baby consider somewhere closer to your workplace. I was very comforted by having my daughter close to my office which was a few metro stops away meaning I could get there quickly and didn’t miss out on any parent days which was great.

7. Visit as many of 6 or 7 nurseries unless you get the gut feel for one that it ticks all the boxes straight away. I looked at many and even did the trial run at peak times to suss out the journey as this all contributes to the happiness for parent and baby.

Erin was in nursery from 5 months full time for 5 days a week from 8am until 6pm. Many comments were raised to me like “wow that’s a lot of hours – shame, she’s so young.” Yes they are long hours and she enjoyed every minute of them and we are so lucky to have received the care and attention she has to this very day that I couldn’t help but take some of these comments to heart. Erin is like part of the family at her nursery and each one of her teachers cares for her very much – I am positive of that. Her little face lights up every time she enters the
nursery doors.

At 18 months old now, my Daughter is now in nursery part time 3 half days a week and the setup has changed for our family.We have now employed a Nanny full time as our requirements have changed and Erin is a little older now and things have changed for the better. Erin’s now embarking on life as a toddler and the easy journey home is now a bit too much for her so, we had to reconsider the set up. We started to work out what we could do to solve this.

We have now employed a Nanny full time as our requirements have changed and Erin is a little older now and things have changed for the better. Erin’s now embarking on life as a toddler and the easy journey home is now a bit too much for her so, we had to reconsider the set up. We started to work out what we could do to solve this.

Both myself and my husband are working full time and it was becoming like a crazy rush every evening we arrived home. We would run around like headless chickens doing bath time, book, bed, dinner and cleaning up, emptying the washer and the list goes on. Even though we were paying for help 3 days a week with day to day cleaning etc and also for a little babysitting each month, we came to the conclusion that we needed to get some full time help and we worked out that by doing so, that we would save money all round and get more of a balance. So what did we do?

We reduced the nursery hours to half the cost and invested in a full time nanny to help (even meaning no camps to pay extra for if we chose to). We cancelled the babysitter service and also cancelled the 3 days a week part time cleaning service. We have even reduced our weekly fuel cost and Salik per week (around 400 AED per month alone) as we use the metro for the days when Erin is at home with our nanny – so further savings to be had.

My advice to parents considering going back to work is find what suits you as a family and consider what the priorities are for you as a family in terms of the childcare available, your budget and location because they are all really important. For parents who are already both working, there’s nothing better than sharing your experience with others as I find it really does help having a chat with those parents in the same boat.

Nurseries and nannies can be expensive, but there are many options out there so make sure you to speak to nursery’s about your own personal circumstances as they can be flexible with payment options.